musings on the point of life

in 2 ways

human flourishing (v): getting back to wholeness and then expressing in the world from that wholeness. 

wholeness is not prone to conceptualization. it’s an experiential way of being. the integral and embodied knowing that nothing is lacking because there exists an unbreakable trust in the unraveling of reality in the past, present, and future. a belief that reality is not unfurling nihilistically. but that effulgent in the stream of our experience is a warmth and tenderness that harmonizes all streams towards the goodness of the larger whole. if we fall back into ourselves deeply enough, we’ll find a primordial womb that exists before space, time, and concepts. a deep trust that all is. home. 

the thrust of all human existence is characterized as losing access to this ocean of spacious freedom, engaging in a myriad of attempts to re-access its trickles, and reunifying with it until it saturates our entire being. the spiritual life is the attempt at reaccessing it consciously. all else, abstractions nth times removed. we are all consciously or unconsciously seeking the security that is intrinsic in wholeness. attempting various experiences, drugs, and states, we pine to see beyond the veil of the mind and its snapshots of reality, calcified yet transparent. in an unyielding recursive loop, we learn that the mind cannot use the mind to usurp itself. content cannot expunge content. the mechanism must melt unto itself when met with deeper depths. a kierkegaardian leap of faith beyond the precarious edifices of thought. as we let go and let in more of what we are. trickles eventually turn into streams that turn into rivers, until our default state tips over to surrender as opposed to attempts. where we come from is no longer localized. an ocean emerges as duality effaces upon itself in ecstasy. the point of forgetting is the joy of remembering. until remembering becomes presence and reunion becomes eternal. 

so everyone, everywhere is somewhere along their path to union. infinite manifestations across different depths, rub against one another to create friction. kinetic energy transmutes into a scintillating corpus of cause and effect, duality and rediscovery, that lurches and sublates into greater facets of wholeness. all sacred and good. without duality and difference at all fractals, the universe would just be inert. you see, the point is play. the eroticism of ceaseless undulations between pain and elation. excuse my language but: instead of a fuck you to the universe, can you let it fuck you? 

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the goal is to get everyone post scarcity. you don’t need to be rich, but you do need to be able to own your time. at the same time, it’s delusion to move towards more money. as it turns out, it pushes you away from doing your art. you need to find the middle way, where you are able to survive to thrive, and stop there. restraint is the most powerful action you can take.

before you can do your art. create and be from your center. metabolize your trauma & conditioning. the festering wound that continues to curdle if not aired through awareness. there is the process of looking directly at it through guidance and meditation. that often is too painful, so you are forced to look at it after days and years of subconscious decisions that congeal into bubbles of untruth. bubbles that burst and decimate the fabricated tapestry from which they spawned. that bring you back to ultimately looking directly at it. whether you can get back to the place of rawness, is grace. a stroke of benevolence ordained by the heavens. or perhaps, you’re meant to go through many more cycles - until the residue is thick enough to break through multiple lifetimes of build-up. many cycles within this life. many lives within the cycle. all good and meant to be.

once you purify the shards that refract your inner light astray. once little wafts of truth seep through the tendrils of your inner being like honey. you relinquish into its goodness. at this point it’s hard to go back, as uniting with what you are becomes the highest concentration of what you seek. the stuff you sought in external mirrors, all reflecting a diluted form of what you are. subconscious or conscious, everything you do is an effort to plug into this energetic, to let it pull you limply by the wrist. being in the present is the vehicle by which sweetness can then waft into the material. all we do on this worldly plane, an intention to create the conditions by which ourselves can pool. all ways to mute the ego complex, so delicate tendrils can arise from their core.

sometimes these tendrils become animated. the muses want to sing. god wants to express. art wants to be birthed as a material artifact by which god can know god. a beacon of recognition, for souls who have forgotten. there’s delight in forgetting and remembering in an upward helicoid towards complete union. the key is to become the apparatus by which this unfolding can germinate into its fullest vibrato. as white as a sheet of paper. as translucent as an untouched pond. from there it’s just unending surrender to however and whatever wants to take place. oscillating between be and being. your job is to stay open. that is the point of life.

I’m Patricia and I write this newsletter in my free time every time an insight needs to be grappled with and birthed. If you want to support my writing, you can join me down the rabbit hole 🕳🐇.